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(KRT) AND HE'S THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD A married man in Rosendaal, Holland, hit it off with a divorcee he met in an Internet chat room. They formed a relationship, and moved in with the couple two months later. In a fortunate development, the man discovered that both the ladies are bisexual, which is why his wife agreed to the arrangement. He says he considers himself "married" to them both. HEY, COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ANYONE A woman in Duluth, Minn., is suing a two of her friends after she was injured during a visit to the couple's home. It seems she felt an urgent need to answer nature's call, but the husband was using the bathroom. So she went down into the cellar and attempted to relieve herself in a concrete laundry tub. It tipped over and crushed her fingers. Alcohol was involved. NICE CAR, BOYS, WHERE'D YOU GET IT? Two men stole a gas station employee's car in Pensacola, Fla., and made a clean getaway. However, they were caught when the returned to the scene of the crime an hour later to gas up the stolen car. PLEASE LADY, IT WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING Hoping to shock a lady out walking her dogs, a 52-year-old flasher in Mettmann, Germany, leapt naked from behind a bush and exposed himself to her. Alas, the woman turned out to be an off-duty police officer. She called for backup. I THINK THE SPIRITS WILL LEAVE IF WE UNDO YOUR BRA A 60-year-old man in Nara, Japan, quit his job at the post office, declared himself a monk and opened a hall for spiritual understanding in his home. He ran afoul of the law when, attempting to exorcize evil spirits from two young women, he fondled their breasts. OH DRIVER, COULD YOU TURN OFF THE MACHINE? Three men were out for an evening of heavy drinking in Perth, Australia, when one of them passed out on the street. As a joke, the other two tossed him into a trash bin and left. The man was awakened by the sound of a trash truck dumping the contents of the bin into its rear compacter, and gearing up to crush. ZZZZZ! HUH!? DOING? ME? NOTHING, WHY? A man, attempted to steal fuel from a gas station in Muncie, Ind., in the dead of night by siphoning it into a 55-gallon tank he installed in the back of his van. It takes a long time to extract all that gas, so while his battery-operated pump did its work, he went to sleep. He was still sleeping when the gas station employees showed up for work the next morning. GEE, WHY IS EVERYONE SO MAD AT US Two members of the staff at a nursing home in Frankfort, Ky., playing a prank on the staff of the next shift, gave laxatives to the elderly patients. Both have been fired. THE DUMBING DOWN OF DRIVER'S ED
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