A $660,000 venture between the United States and China would allow researchers to use satellites to observe the mating habits of pandas. Only about 1,600 pandas still live in the wild with more than 150 in captivity. I’m sure the ACLU will be somewhere complaining about this gross invasion of panda privacy.

Washed up actress, in need of money.

   Anna Nicole Smith (Remember her? She was thin, she was fat, she was totally wasted) is going to the Supreme Court. No, thank God, she’s not the new justice. The blonde Trimspa spokesperson is trying to collect nearly $88 million dollars left to her by her obscenely old husband. As much as I dislike her, she did marry an 86-year-old man - she should get something.

Attack of the Squid.

   Scientists from Japan have managed to film a live giant squid with eyes as big as dinner plates. After a lengthy battle the animal broke free, leaving behind an enormous tentacle. Jules Verne is somewhere smiling now. Maybe this will pave the way for more giant animals like King Kong or Shaq.

South Korea, the land of spider robots.

   South Korea plans on spending $33.4 billion over the next five years to produce robots that will patrol the South and North Korean border. The robots will be armed and will work alongside dogs to intercept targets and search for explosives. People, we need more robots in war. I for one advocate an army of Furbys with shotguns.

Album of the Week

Beastie Boys "License to Ill"

   Perhaps one of the greatest hip hop albums on the planet, "License to Ill" features such hits as "Brass Monkey," "No Sleep till Brooklyn" and "Girls." This was back when MTV actually showed videos and rap was about more than ice and rims.

Rating A