Theme Park Uses Rock Theme

Hard Rock Park, which billes itself as the world's first rock n' roll theme park, is now under construction in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and is scheduled to open sometime in the spring of 2008. The park's main attraction will be Led Zeppelin - The Ride, a looping, steel coaster that will blast the band's "Whole Lotta Love," resulting in what the park's promotional materials call "an unprecedented sensory experience."

Which is great and all, but what about the rest of the park? We helpfully offer these suggestions, for more information, visit www.hardrockpark.com:

POTENTIAL ROCK-THEMED RIDES AT HARD ROCK PARK IN MYRTLE BEACH

Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Tilt-A-Whirl
Metallica's Ride the Lightning
Mr. Big's Wild Ride
Bruce Springsteen's Cold Dark River Flume
ELO's Mr. Blue Skyway
The Pearl Jam Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town Who Won't Take Your Ticket For The Ride Because She's Busy Napping
Earth, Wind & Fire's Extreme Weather Wind Tunnel
John Mayer's boring mini-coaster you have to go on because your sister is too scared to get on Metallica's Ride the Lightning
Nickelback's weak, Canadian approximation of a theme park ride
The Paris Hilton-Lindsay Lohan Two-Drink Minimum Bumper Cars
Panic! On the Teacups
Chinese Democracy: The Ride, under construction until 2023

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