She was talking loudly and insistently, and that might not have made a difference except that she was alone in the stall of a ladies' room. Sure, times are tough all over, but who knew matters had gotten this bad?

   Of course, she wasn't alone, going off the deep end. She was chatting on her cell phone. In a place created for privacy, she abandoned the privilege, encouraging eavesdropping, though, alas, there was nothing interesting to purloin. Isn't eavesdropping always like that? Rarely are you privy to really juicy conversations.

   The other day, I was in a hotel restaurant and ascertained that the overnight guests chatting nearby were married, but clearly not to each other. Frankly, I didn't realize that people still had the time, legal counsel and emotional fortitude for such behavior. As is my luck, the couple's conversation was exceptionally dull, too, something to do with sweaters and energy costs.

   Why, they might as well have been married to each other.

   Anyway, having lived through the '80s, when restrooms were used for more intriguing recreation than chatter, it was common to find four people jammed into a nightclub stall, I can attest that the cell-phone business is annoying and wrong. If people need updated etiquette lessons then, all right, I'm here to provide them:

   1. If you don't wish to invite eavesdropping, avoid using a cell phone in quiet places. This would mean the train. And the elevator. Or a restaurant. And a public restroom. Especially the restroom. Don't engage strangers in lengthy conversations in public restrooms, either. We have the Internet for that.

   2. Disconnect. Cell phones and laptops plug us into the modern world, but there are times, and places, where we should detach. Such as while relaxing or exercising. Working on a laptop at the beach or talking on the cell during a hike is annoying and wrong. It reminds other people around you of the very life they're trying to escape. People did without such technology for centuries. You can do without for a few hours.

   3. E-mail is not an opportunity for verbal flashing, bombarding people with hostile comments, egregious grammar and wretched spelling. Correspondence, in any form, is a reflection of ourselves. Just because e-mail is fast doesn't mean it should be gratuitous and sloppy. Relative anonymity isn't an excuse for personality disorders, puerile taunts and gross misconduct. Treat strangers, especially newspaper reporters, with the respect, dignity and kindness you would friends and family.

   4. Leave dietary issues at home. If you're invited to someone's table, accept the bounty offered. Push what displeases you to the side. Hosts should cease inquiring, and guests should stop itemizing issues. It's only food, not global warming, and listing all your restrictions and phobias isn't only passive-aggressive, it's unattractive.

   5. There is such a concept as too casual. Bank officials shouldn't first-name customers. When asking for donations, or doing business with someone, proper manners work wonders. Young people shouldn't first-name relative strangers old enough to be their grandparents. You think this is ageist? Fine, it's ageist. It appeared we had reached the apogee of bedroom casual when flip-flops were worn to the White House. But this was wrong. Young people have taken to wearing pajamas and slippers on the street. There's an axiom that when you're young and good-looking, you can get away with wearing anything. This, however, is the exception.

   6. Realize that when asking a favor, you're asking someone to do work for you. So the proper response is to say "thank you." Or possibly send a note, even a gift. Gifts are nice. They make an impression. It isn't proper to ask repeatedly for considerable favors, unless you're offering some form of compensation. Such as a gift. The improper response to someone's doing you a favor is to ask for yet another favor. This, like so much modern behavior, happens to be annoying and wrong.