Great Leaps in Shaving

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   In the annals of innovation there were candle lovers who mocked the first light bulbs, horse enthusiasts who thought motorcars ridiculous, devotees of the telegraph who couldn't imagine why anybody needed a phone.

   So far be it for any of us to write off the latest technological advance from grooming products giant Gillette: the five-blade razor, the latest weaponry in an age-old arms race.

   Cavemen were using flints to scrape off 5 o'clock shadow long before 5 o'clock was invented. The challenge ever since has been to find, and market, something better and smoother and less likely to grate the skin.

   Men and women have plucked, scraped and resorted to depilatories made of exotic concoctions such as bat's blood. There have been straight razors, single-blade disposables, twin-blades and twin-blades mounted on springs and infused with lubricants.

   It was only eight years ago that Gillette brought out its three-blade Mach3, leading Schick to counter with the four-blade Quattro.

   And now, with the Fusion and a battery-operated big cousin, Gillette has upped the blade ante once more. "Gillette Fusion is more than just a next generation shaving brand," brags company head James Kilts. "It's the future of shaving."

   Until, he might have added, the next future of shaving comes along.

   But is this a future we really need or will come to embrace? Will our faces truly be less stubbly, our legs sexier, our lives happier and more fulfilled, with five cutting edges instead of four or three or _ for the true Luddites among us _ two?

   If the answer is "yes," then there surely will be still more great moments in shaving. Imagine, someday, the Gillette Octopus. The Schick Ten-tacle. The Wilkinson WonderDozen.

   There must, though, be a practical limit. To be followed by the inevitable retro phase, in which Marketing produces PowerPoint presentations purporting to show that shavers nostalgically yearn for a one-blade blade.

   Imagine then, the TV ads for ... the Gillette Guillotine.

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© 2005, Chicago Tribune.

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© The Voice 2005
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