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Dear Mr. President ...

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   Space has a lot of minerals; we should mine it.

   Those words are basically what I came to understand about the president's new great plan to make Iraq look unimportant. But Bush has my support on this one. I want to live on the moon, road trip on Mars … insert space hobby here.

   Some day I want to hang out with green aliens, perhaps learn to overcome my fear of Wookies. President Bush happens to be on my team this time. But, before we can come to an agreement, we have to clear some things up.

   I agree that humans want to know what lies beyond what we can see. That's great propaganda and everything, but we have to discuss this whole "appointed people that like to cover up global warming" thing.

   In the news this week, I have seen a lot of talk by many news organizations that Bush has been appointing people without college degrees into top public relation positions. Not just any public relations positions -- we are talking about NASA.

    Now call me crazy, but if you are going to get yourself all worked into a frenzy; perhaps you should do it somewhere you have not oppressed.

   We still have some beef on the whole Kyoto Protocol thing, and you really got me happy when I read your moon plans at the White House Web site, but seriously, why do you want to break my heart like this? Why did you have to ruin something that could have been beautiful? We could have agreed on something, George.

   I liked it when you told me that we could make oxygen in a moon colony. We could actually let other countries jump on the band wagon. The whole human race would be united. That had me worked up, but you really let me down, man.

   Did you know that George Deutsch pushed Christian dogma down scientist's throats? Did you know that a guy at NASA got silenced? Did you know that as a climatologist he knows a great deal that can help us? Do you know what a climatologist is?

   If you tell me that they are just lies, I will believe you. We can even start a cool smear campaign against him, just like you nuked the Democrats. Hey, George, did you know that some hard-core Conservatives say Dumb-o-crats? We could blow it up like that, man. Imagine if you can, we could make sure that your family never gets voted out of the White House.

   But you know I could not do that. I like where your ideas are headed, President Bush. Mankind in space, all different countries united under a single goal. Imagine what that could do for the world we live in.

   Why did you have to taint that with blatant disregard for the freedoms that I respect? Why did you spit in the face of all the men that died protecting this country?

   Uh-oh, I went really far on that one, didn't I? But, dispute my claim. I will back it up by saying that each and every soldier that has spilled blood for America has done so to protect the values of a single document.

   In the First Amendment alone you have violated freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Now do not get me wrong, you have violated more of them, these are just the two in this issue. You may not understand what your lustful, power-mongering will cause in the future; but I know that we cannot have that peaceful safe life that we long for.

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