What To Bring To An Exam

A writing instrument.
     Try pencils, pens, crayons, or even spray paint cans, but avoid 
anything which can't be erased quickly. Ignore this condition if
you are a crosser-outer.
A calculator. A simple four function (yes, they still make them) device is fine,
although nothing feels quite as good as an TI-85 in the palm.
Maybe bring two.
Back-up power for the calculator. Items like spare Duracels or even portable electric generators
work well.
Crib Sheet. This can be loosely identified as notes for an "open book" test,
but we advise against carrying into a test any textbook unless the
course is Assembler, in which case the description of the entire
IBM 360/70 instruction set might be slightly useful. If it's for a
course like Physics I, bring a magnifying glass so you can read
what you microprinted the night before.
A Picture of an Authoritative Intellectual. A personal favorite is one of Albert Einstein, but a good profile
of Max Planck will do wonders to confuse the TA's minds. The photo is
basically a simple method to ensure that a great mind is overlooking
your exam.
Stuffed Animal. Nothing soothes the savage test-taker like a warm fuzzie. Your
friendly bear, penguin or tribble will work well.
Nourishment. Brain food aside, a cold pop and munchies help take your mind off
of test-death. Long-lasting lollipops work very well and don't disturb
your fellow sufferers.
Small Portable Teaching Assistant. This works best on tests that are open book, and the instructor
has foolishly acknowledged that "anything you can carry into the
test, you can use." A real fight starter. After all, your peers
will all want to borrow your TA.
Some Idea of How to Answer the Questions. This one seems almost too obvious, but it is often overlooked
as being too difficult, since it requires going to class, studying,
doing the homework, etc. And ALWAYS make sure you know exactly what
course the exam is for -- studying Physics for a Calculus test renders
much of the knowledge you accumulated the night before useless.
For Additional Humor see http://www.rpi.edu/~kuurem/college.html